" Believe, when you are most unhappy, that there is something for you to do in the world. So long as you can sweeten another's pain, Life is not in vain. " - Hellen Keller (1880 - 1968)

A Heart Felt Welcome To You....

I am a mother of 3 children, who has now passed the stage of the "Biological Clock ." I lost my planned and very much wanted precious first child - a son "Nicholas" - at 19 weeks & 4 days gestation, due to birth defects. My 2 other children are the love of my life, and I treasure every moment I spend with them. I am currently studying to be a counsellor while also hoping to finish writing a book this year, about my life's experiences & many challenges.

You can also catch a summary by viewing my complete profile. I'd love you to stay awhile, to hopefully be comforted and inspired by my writing, and enjoy the read! Please post a comment, I would love to hear from you. xxxx

Please click on the Picture of Nicholas' Home Page to read my story of losing my first child "Darling Precious Angel Son In Heaven".

My Memorial Site

I Also Have A Special Memorial Site Named:

"Eternal Names By The Sea"

Especially To Honour Our Precious Loved One's, if you would like to have a look, leave a name request or post a comment, just click on the photo on the right hand side of my page.

Or feel free to click on the link below:


I would love to hear from you xxxx

I am very happy to do this as a special touch from my heart to yours, as the pain of losing a precious loved one is very heartbreaking.

I am always here for you xxxx

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Remembering All The Black Saturday Bushfire Victims - I Year Ago Today

1 year ago today was the worst ever natural disaster in Australia's history.

This is my tribute to all the Black Saturday Bushfire victims.

They are, and never will be forgotten.


Thursday, July 9, 2009

Where Were You When You Heard The News?..........

Where were you when you heard the news,
of the Victorian Bushfire's,
The worst natural disaster,
in Australia's History
7th February 2009
(Black Saturday)

I was studying in a,
Grief Counselling course that weekend,
so I didn't realise the extent
of what had happened,
to our beautiful state
until the Sunday night.
As the hours, days, weeks & months
have unfolded
my heart has gone out
to all those who have suffered.
The victims,
The Families,
The Friends,
The Animals and Wildlife,
The Communities,
And too all of us who have watched
this terrible tragedy unfold .

It took me back to when I heard the news that,
"Diana, Princess Of Wales"
had died, in 1997.
I remembered when I had got the chance
to meet her in 1985 in Macedon,
which was after another terrible
bushfire here in Victoria.
Those of,
"Ash Wednesday"
in 1983.
Tears streamed down my face,
as I, and many others,
from around the world
watched as her two
beautiful boys
followed her coffin
through the streets of London

Then, two weeks ago,
Shane, Kimberley and I
woke to hear the terrible news that
Michael Jackson
had been rushed to hospital.
We sat glued to the television
hoping that he would be okay,
Like many others around the world,
our prayers were not answered,
and our hearts were broken,
to hear the news of his death,
at such a young age,
is such a tragedy.

On Wednesday morning,
we stayed up to watch his,
very moving and beautiful memorial service.
The three of us had many tears,
for his friends and family,
Especially his children.
And this is where I would like to take a few excerpts,
from Michael's memorial service,
To remind us of how special he was.
"Michael was one of a kind" - Brooke Shields.
"Wasn't nothing strange about your daddy,
it was strange what you Daddy,
had to deal with,
but he dealt with it anyway" - Rev Al Sharpton.
"Gone too soon" - Usher.
"Someone that taught us to love,
Someone that taught us to hope,
Believe in your dreams" - Rev Al Sharpton.
"How much pain can one take,
maybe now Michael they will leave you alone" - Marlon Jackson.

Then Michael's' beautiful daughter said:
"Ever since I was born,
Daddy was the best father you could ever imagine,
And I just wanted to say I Love Him so much" - Paris Jackson.

And the words sung by,
Germane Jackson,
to Michael's favourite song,


"Smile though your heart is aching,
Smile even though its breaking,
When you in, there are clouds in the sky,
You'll get by,
If you smile, with your fear and sorrow,
Smile, you're maybe tomorrow,
You'll find that life is still with wealth,
If you just,

Light up your face with sadness,
Hide every trace of gladness,
Hearts that will heal will be ever so dear,
That's the time you'll must keep on trying,
Smile, there's no use in crying,
You'll find that life is still wealth,
If you just,

Smile though your heart is aching,
Smile even though its breaking,
When you in, there are clouds in the sky,
You'll get by,
If you smile with your fear and sorrow,
Smile you're maybe tomorrow,
You'll find that life is still wealth,
If you just smile,
That's the time when you must keep on trying,
Smile, there's no use in crying,
you'll find that life is still with wealth,
If you just smile.
After watching this,
I felt that Shane, Kimberley and I
should go to the beach
and remember to
So we went & had afternoon tea
at our little Cafe
attached to the local general store.
These are
Shane and Kimberley's hands
together on the beach

The Following pictures
are of
Shane and Kimberley
on this beautiful winter's day

We will always remember you
with a
Our hearts and thoughts go to your

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

"Please Don't Judge A Mother"

Nicholas' Cemetary

Please don't judge a mother
As she struggles with her grief
Time is NO great healer
Whatever you believe

Please don't judge a mother
As the tears fall from her eyes
You have your child here
But to hers, she said goodbye

Please don't judge a mother
When she feels the need to say
How much she loves her child
Each and every day

Please don't judge a mother
If she feels the need to talk
She'll never get to hold her child
Nor see her child walk

Please don't judge a mother
If she feels she cannot smile
The guilt if she feels happy
Lingers for a while

Please don't judge a mother
If she feels she cannot spend
A minute with your child
You see her pain it never ends

Please don't judge a mother
When she needs to be alone
She needs to wallow in her grief
In the privacy of her home

Please don't judge a mother
When she feels she can't join in
Pain is all she feels
Having fun feels like a sin

Please don't judge a mother
For anything at all
Just listen to her, hold her
And let her tears fall

Author: Christine Wildman
From "I'm An Angel Mummy And Proud" on Facebook
I received this beautiful poem today in an email,
And many tears began to fall again...15 years on.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Hearts Touched With Gold

Thank You Silver
For This Beautiful Award
You Are Always In My Thoughts
Throughout our life we meet many people,
Some we never notice,
Some we never remember,
Some may pass by very quickly,
Some we remember for hurting us, and wish we could forget them,
Then there are,
"The Very Special One's Who's Hearts Are Touched With Gold".
The wonderful, thoughtful, caring,
And very special one's.
I am very honoured to have met them,
And have them in my life.
I love having these wonderful friendships,
As they all hold a very special place in my heart:
(Listed in no particular order, as you are all very special to me)
Lots of Love and (((Hugs))) to my beautiful friends

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Its Been 28 Years Today

To My Wonderful Much Loved Mum
1934 - 1981
Taken Too Soon.
Your Life Was Just A Short Space In Time,
But Yours Was Touched With Gold.
Loving You,
Missing You,
Remembering You,
Forever And Always In My Heart.
From Your Youngest Daughter,

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Gippsland Ulcers - Good News!!!!

What a week it's been!!
I've have had to visit my Doctor everyday to have the injections, and last Thursday my Doctor sent me to a nearby hospital emergency department to see a hand specialist, because the ulcers were getting worse.
After a very Long..... wait and then being very quickly looked at by a very rude and arrogant Doctor, I was sent home!!!!
This very long and tedious story is too full of irrelevant mumblings, so I'll try and keep it short.....
The weekend was very quite, and my ulcers were finally clearing up and not hurting anymore!!!! Yippee!!!!
I saw my Doctor again yesterday, and she is very pleased with how their healing up, and also very surprised how quickly too. She said that my ulcers were caused by a Possum bite, which infected my mosquito bites, so I have been given the "All Clear"..... Yippee!!!!!!
My children are now home with me, making us all very happy to finally be together again, and so life continues on the usual path, now all the drama's of the last couple of weeks is over!!!!
I would like to sincerely thank all of you who sent me your lovely thoughts, well wishes and prayers xxxx

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Bairnsdale Ulcers - Its Not Good News

My results have come back and there is the "Bad News" and the "Really Bad News"......
After seeing my Doctor this afternoon, my results confirmed that I have "Bairnsdale Ulcers"(That's the Bad News) and because they are growing quite rapidly, the "LAB" is now looking to see if I have "leprosy"(And that's the really bad news!!!!).....................
I am now on two even stronger antibiotics, as well as having to go and see my doctor everyday for injections.....aarrrrggghhhh.....OUCH !!!!!!
I have been told that while the "LAB" is testing me for Leprosy I have to be quarantined at home. The only places I'm allowed to go to is the Doctor and the Chemist!!!! When I came out of the Doctors office, I was told to stand near the door of the doctors office, and the receptionist (with a mask over her face) then evacuated the patients from the waiting room to the car park, until I had left. My first thought was that because of the recent outbreaks of "Swine Flu", they must of had a patient in the treatment room, (because that's what they did yesterday) but no....it was because of me being classed as "Highly Contagious"..... It was such a terrifying and humiliating experience.
Now my precious children have had to go and stay with their father until I get the "All Clear".......Whenever that will be??????
Years ago here in Melbourne, Australia we used to have an "Infectious Diseases Hospital", but over the years with the many changes of State and Federal Governments with their wisdom, and many cost cutting in the community they
have closed it down!!!!! If it was still open, then that's where I would be at the moment, but instead I have to stay in my home and my poor darling and very precious children have to stay away from me and their own home. They are both extremely upset and concerned about me, as well as having to leave their home, so their father and I have decided not to tell them what my Doctor told me today, all we have explained to them is "I might be contagious with my ulcers and its best they aren't with me until I find out more from the Doctor". My heart was breaking when they left with their father, we were all in tears, and I can't even give them cuddles and kisses to try and comfort them and ease their anxiety........... Its very hard to see my children suffering so much.
And even though I worked out a way to open a bottle of wine to have a glass, and too also have a cigarette, I am now not allowed to have any alcohol while I'm on all this medication!!!! And I sure do wish I could have a glass at the moment!!
So instead I have to keep up my sense of humour, so if anyone has any funny stories or experiences to share, I would love to hear from you....Please....
I really need a good laugh right now.